"Compared with women, men tend to get stuck in the anger stage and stay there a bit longer," says Erma Lawson-Elahee, R. D., a retired University of North Texas associate professor and the coauthor of Black Men and Divorce.
"Men can heal with traditional and spiritual counseling, therapy and increased involvement in social activities to help them through the process." Talking to a pastor and getting involved in church activities served as therapy for many of the men Lawson-Elahee has studied.
"I did four things after the divorce," says the Arkansas native who's in his sixties. I went into a rut of depression, put on 120 pounds and developed diabetes and sleep apnea.
Before, I was at the gym every day." Jackson decided that he had had enough of the pity party and made a conscious decision to reclaim fitness and work on the areas that led to his divorce.
Some participated more in Black fraternity events and political functions, while others joined community groups or coached basketball teams to cope with their psychological distress.
He says he got divorced a year ago, yet you aren't sure he has recovered.Atlanta restaurant owner Le Mare Harris spoke to his mother and then to his pastor after the dissolution of his union. "As we got closer, I didn't want to hurt her, because I was still hurting."About a year after my divorce, I met a woman who invited me to go skating. That's when I went on a soul-searching journey that included reading, fasting and prayer." During this time they stayed in contact.I've found that divorced Black men tend to suffer deep depression longer than Black women.They could be depressed for years postdivorce, whereas women tend to move on and pick up at a faster pace," says Leon Dickerson, Ph.D., a psychotherapist in Harlem who has been in private practice for more than 20 years.